Ask boldly
I've been quiet. Here's why, and what I'm asking for now. Women are asking for raises and promotions more than ever. But many still don't feel comfortable doing it. The gap isn't whether women ask, it's whether they ask boldly. And that's a learnable skill.
LEADERSHIPCONFIDENCEWOMEN IN LEADERSHIPCAREER DEVELOPMENTNEGOTIATION
I've been quiet for four weeks. No newsletter, no updates, just silence from my end.
I needed to do some internal work. Figure out what I wanted to do next, what this business is really about, and what I'm building toward. You know that feeling when you're in the middle of something big but you can't name it yet? That's where I was.
I'm naming it now. And I'm back.
Let's talk about asking.
There's a narrative that's been floating around for decades. That women don't ask. That we sit quietly, wait to be noticed, and hope the right people see our worth.
Turns out, that narrative is outdated.
Research from UC Berkeley Haas found that more women than men now report negotiating their job offers. 54% of women versus 44% of men. Women are asking. More than ever.
And yet. Women are still getting turned down more often than men when they do ask. And 42% of women say they didn't feel comfortable asking in the first place, compared to 33% of men. (Pew Research Center, 2023.)
So the problem was never that women don't ask.
The problem is that we don't always ask boldly.
What does asking boldly actually mean?
Asking boldly doesn't mean being loud. It doesn't mean being aggressive. And it definitely doesn't mean pretending to be someone you're not.
Asking boldly means:
Know your worth first - Don't enter the negotiation calculating what you need. Enter knowing what you bring.
Have your SHINE File at the ready - Your track record, your impact, your evidence. The wins you've logged, the failures you've reframed, the proof that's been there all along. That's what you walk in with.
Ask from a place of worth, not a place of need - There's a difference in energy between "I hope you'll say yes" and "Here's what I'm worth."
Don't pre-justify - Not pre-justifying, not apologising, not softening the ask before you've even made it. Say what you want. Then stop.
Be okay with a no - Because your sense of worth doesn't live in their answer.
That last one is the needle-mover. Because when you're not desperate for the yes, you ask differently. You land differently. And people respond differently.
This is the work
Not just "be more confident." Building the foundation that makes bold asking feel natural. That's what we're doing in the Empower & Lead Collective.
This month the theme is Ask Boldly.
We're talking about what gets in the way of asking for what you want, where the discomfort actually comes from, and the practical tools that help you walk into any room ready to ask and mean it.
The Confidence Workout is free, one hour, on the 14th of May at 1pm UK time / 8 AM EST.
If you've been meaning to join, this is your month. And if you know three women who need to hear this right now, forward this to them. I have a dream of 100 women in that room at once. Help me get there.
Register for the Confidence Workout
Key takeaway
Asking boldly isn't about being aggressive. It's about walking in knowing your worth, having your SHINE File at the ready, and being okay with a no. When your sense of value doesn't depend on their answer, you ask differently.
Keep shining,
Natalia x
Human Red Bull. Leadership Coach. Shine File Creator
©Natalia Cerezo Martin 2026
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